Haven't posted in.....forever, and have just been reminded that this site exists. So prepare for a long one!

So, I'm in college now. And 18. I can honestly say that high school can kiss my ass; college looks down upon you and spits in your eyes. While I miss people back home I do finally feel free. Believe me, if you had my senior year (many of my friends will attest to this) you would never go back. I did come out a little tougher though, so that's  a positive aspect. However, it is my personal belief that in order to become "tough" and "brave" as I have been many a time you give up pieces of yourself. Becoming tough also means a little more callus, a little colder and more indifferent. I've already hurt a few friends this year simply out of exercising the ability to do so and I'll admit I'm not sad about it (but that would be me who ever since eh, give or take sophomore year, regrets nothing as life is too short and needs interesting things).
College is amazing. I can take up every opportunity I've never been able to do (curse you greenbacks!) and I feel the potential here for me to make some really good friends. ARGO and LAG, my nerd groups <3, are fun and learned to do things I've been wanting to try since I first heard about them (D&D for example).
Currently I am writing a game of my own and it is taking place inside an evil amusement park (affectionately dubbed my little park of horrors).

Hmm, writing in a journal is tough...I'm not one for making documented proof of my soul and its crazy. Oh here's a good, recurring topic: dear old Daddy. For people who remember the lifeless shadow of a person I was for a good portion of last year, he was one of the reasons. The main reason, and an issue that still haunts me. All I'm going to say without spilling my life is that parent abandonment (for any reason, though this one has none) equals no fun. Especially since it's happened twice to me now (curse you biological father!). It's because of bastards like these that when words such as "love" and "commitment" come up I can't help but snicker and chuckle.

OK, venting done. I have been playing Xenogears since I came to campus and it never fails to amaze me. A late 90's PS1 game and possibly the deepest video game to have ever graced existence. i mean, you fight God for...god's sake. There's multiple personalities, politics, religion, psychology...the list could go on. I love it.
Along the same vein, I have recently had a huge craving for World Of Warcraft. It happened while I was watching the South Park episode spoofing it and just seeing the familiar graphics...RIGHT CLICK! INITIATE COMBAT! sigh, I miss it. I may take it up again over the summer. If I do I believe I will create my favorite undead sorceress. She was awesome.

mood: geeky

 The subject pretty much covers it...I'm renovating myself with a scalpel. Not a real one of course, a "metaphoric" one...meaning exercise and personality alterations. I am sick of being down over it so I'm gonna stop whining. I think my easliy distracted mind will resist normal exercise so I plan on being dropped in the middle of the African plains...the need to survive will overcome my laziness....maybe.

 So, I love stalkers. Especially when they're stalking my friends. There's something about the idea of hiding behind objects and staring through someone's clothes that just tickles my small intestine. I dance with joy hoping one day the good Lord'll assign me that one special stalker...whether it be male or female, drug addict or depressed shorty, homicidal maniac or llama farmer. Sigh, my heart aches with anticipation. So here's a toast to those silent eyes in the darkness of your window, the backseat of your car, behind that tree, and well, everywhere else.

mood: apathetic

 You should be crying, kissing your loved ones goodbye, and finding a bombshelter after reading that. I hate Mondays and they are usually the worst day for me. My typical Monday consists of me crawling out of the dark abyss of my covers, hissing at anything that talks to me, and growling...alot. Today was different, though. Contentment and excitement haven't filled me like this in a long while. I attribute it to: 1.) loving school again 2.)finally meeting someone who is just like me( aka Tom the overlord of awesomeness). So yea, just thought the world should know. Spread the love y'all.

mood: enthralled